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Whitey Tightey Break-Up
We’ve been casually going on dates and starting to connect on a deeper level it seems, but i’ve got something i need to confess. i saw something the other day when you had me over to your apartment for the first time and it has made me completely change my mind about you. i caught a glimpse of your whitey tightey waistband hanging from your drawer and i just couldn’t help but snatch it and throw it in my purse for evidence later. i knew there was something sort of “off” about you...you’re nice and cute and all, but i could tell deep down you were an inexperienced dork. i mean really, what sort of grown man proudly sports these outdated undies?! obviously, a sexless dweeb such as yourself. i’ve come to not only humiliate your choice of underwear, but to inform you i’ll never be seeing you on a date or in a romantic way again. capice?!
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