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Fleshlight = Girlfriend!
We've been house mates for ages now and we still never really cross paths do we? well, i thought i best send you a message because i found something out about you. you really need to remember to tidy away your fleshlight because i found it in the bathroom. i didn't really think much of it but then i heard this weird noise coming from your room and i listened, it sounded really squelchy and that's when i realised you were using it. you were moaning someones name and i couldn't quite hear it at first until your started getting louder and i realised you were moaning our housemates name, fiona. i couldn't believe it i needed proof of what you were doing because you're a freak for fucking your fleshlight and naming it fiona! so i made sure i got proof but you want to know how don't you? well, you're in big trouble, well, that is unless we can come to some sort of agreement.
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