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Secretary Reduced to Pig Slut
You can't be serious; please tell me this is some kind of early april fool's joke. it isn't? i've been working for your company for just shy of 15 years; how can i suddenly be too fat to be the face of your office? just look at me?! i suppose... i have gained more than just a little bit of weight over the years. please, sir, i need this job! i'll do anything that you want me to do if you let me keep my job.
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