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A Gooner's Wedding Vows: I Do, I Stroke, I Obey
Sunset. ocean. white lace on bare skin, fresh bridal claws, and a ceremony that has absolutely nothing to do with you getting a wife. tonight i officiate the only marriage you'll ever qualify for: you and your right hand. you'll repeat the vows. you'll say "i do" until it's a mantra. you'll exchange a very special ring. and when i pronounce you man and hand, you'll consummate it exactly the way we both know you always do. dress code: naked, hard and obedient.
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