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Performance Review
Tut tut tut. Your performance at work has taken a nose dive. The company seems to struggle with getting you under wraps. That's where I come in. I've been hired by the company to take the reins and improve your performance. My methods are unconventional, with strong evidence of success. It really is best you work with me and keep your career strong. Unless of course you'd prefer that your boss and wife find out what you've been masturbating to at work.
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